


Russian Roulette

by somedaysomewhere



Series: Bang, Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down) [1]
Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M, Mafia AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 08:33:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20963585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somedaysomewhere/pseuds/somedaysomewhere
Summary: Seungyoun knows better than to fall in love with a boy who loves somebody else. Or at least, that’s what he tells himself.





	Russian Roulette

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing too violent or graphic. Added the warning just in case. Enjoy!

Seungyoun knows better than to fall in love with a boy who loves somebody else. Or at least, that's what he tells himself.

He has been with X1 for a year now—a group managed by a higher syndicate he only knows by the name “Swing”. Their mission: to dispose anyone and everyone they’re told to dispose of. In simpler terms: they’re hired killers.

There are 11 boys in X1. Seungyoun was initially surprised at their diverse backgrounds (one member was a former national athlete!) but for some reason, he was able to form friendships with everyone. Except for one.

Seungwoo. His partner during missions.

Seungwoo is a boy with a death wish. Reckless and wild, quick to welcome danger without batting an eye. Death is part of the world they live in. However, no one dances around it like him.

He's still injured from a recent assignment. The black eye he got the other day hasn't faded yet. And now, he narrowly dodges a knife. Sometimes, Seungyoun hates being assigned with him—they never finish without a mess. He has to admit though that they make a great team.

The Jericho feels unfamiliar on Seungyoun’s hands. He prefers his Glock, still. However, they have a mission to fulfill. He aims for the masked man's head and clicks the trigger—

—he’ll apologize later for the pink matter that splatters to Seungwoo.

* * *

Seungyoun sometimes hears the whispers of their members. _There's a boy, _they say. _Seungwoo__ will die for him. He'll kill anyone to be with him._

He attributes the sudden heaviness in his chest to heartburn. Tomorrow is his fifty-seventh mission. He needs to have a clear head.

* * *

Seungwoo is a surprisingly funny guy. While Seungyoun is known as the crackhead of X1, Seungwoo has a way with deadpan that makes the members laugh, intended or not. Still, he remains closed off, and everything the members know about him are mere speculations.

Today is different though—he is looser than usual. He’s talking a lot too. It must be the soju they’re drinking but Seungyoun allows himself to hope that maybe, maybe Seungwoo is starting to trust him even just a little. In a span of an hour, he has already talked about his family, friends and hometown.

He also talks about love.

"His name is Hajoon. Born in Summer too, isn't it funny? I told him I'll come back and I will. I will."

There's no light in the room. There's no moon. He doesn't see how hard Seungyoun bites his tongue.

* * *

Seungyoun knows better than to fall in love with a boy who has only shown him friendship and nothing else. Kindness is not love. At least, that's what he tells himself.

But the mind and the heart are never aligned, and in spite of, and despite of, he falls.

* * *

It’s their eightieth mission.

An opponent is brave enough to try to intercept them. It's a fairly easy match for them both, until a hidden man introduces himself with a bullet to Seungyoun’s stomach.

Dizzy from the rapid loss of blood, Seungyoun begins to think about the afterlife. Not this meager life because it doesn't amount to much, because there is too much blood on his hands, because regrets are useless. He only wishes that he had the chance to kiss the boy he wanted to kiss.

_There's a boy. I won't die for him, but here I am anyway. _

_I won't die for him, but I love him anyway._

He makes it, of course. Seungwoo is on his bedside when he wakes up, asleep with his head lolling to the side. This is the chance he asked for. He doesn't take it.

Is it ever easy? If there's one thing Seungyoun can tell you, it's this: it's never that simple.

It takes him five full days to recover. On their next assignment, they stand a little closer to each other. 

* * *

And then he's gone. The members don't know anything about it and Seungyoun can't exactly ask their boss. Eventually he’s assigned to a new partner, Hangyul—same brashness and skills, but too logical for his taste. He misses the tempest Seungwoo brought with him.

The underground is a too dark and lonely of a place for love to bloom. Seungyoun knows this. Still, he loves. Wholly, knowingly, unconditionally.

He wonders what Seungwoo gave in exchange for his freedom. He wonders why. It's no secret: you either live or die with the syndicate. To give it all up, and for what?

Then he remembers the whispers, the moonless night, and knows. He hopes he's finally with the boy—it's what he deserves, after all.

* * *

He picks up a four-leaf clover and puts it in his pocket. People discredit luck all the time, but he has witnessed enough all-ins and almost deaths to recognize the role it plays. One can have every thing and lose it in one go. One can have nothing and then the world. It's all a matter of luck.

* * *

It's Seungyoun’s one-hundred and forty-forth mission and his partner is late. It's strict protocol to be on time—everyone is busy and it's disrespectful to waste time that isn't yours. One more and he’ll bring it to their boss. Maybe he should ask for a little vacation too.

"Hey."

Someone hugs him before he can fully turn around. A head rests on his shoulder. And like he knows the burn of a bullet, he immediately recognizes who it is. _There's a boy,_ his heart sings._ Gone like the wind and back like a hurricane._

"I'll explain later. I'll answer all of your questions. But for now, we're partners again. I think we have a mission?"

Then Seungwoo takes the chance he was afraid to grasp before. And he takes it, and takes it again.


End file.
